A man can never have enough cables and leads, apparently. We have at least a black bin bag and a half, but, quite often, the male members of my household are unable to find the particular cable or lead that they need. At this point, all attention generally turns to me, and a conversation similar to the one below ensues:
'Where is the lead I left in the middle of the dining room table, on the 20th March 2004?' enquires a family member, somewhat accusingly.
'Why do you think I would know?' I ask, playing for time.
'Well, you are the only one who tidies up around here!' replies the male family member, triumphantly.
The trap has been set. He is aware that I will desperately feel the need to say 'I certainly am the only person who ever tidies up around here!' but if I say that, it will be an admission of guilt. I bite back my tempting retort and reply truthfully 'I don't remember seeing it and I don't know where it is. If I had moved it, I would have put it in one of those black bags, or on the shelf under the computer table. Learn to look after your own things' I add in my own defence. 'Don't leave it to me. Put them somewhere safe, if you don't want to lose them.'
Back comes the inevitable reply. 'I do look after my own things. I did put it somewhere safe. I put it in the middle of the dining room table.'
When the lead or cable is finally found in someone's car (It has been known.) or drawer, the family member still regards me with some suspicion. He doesn't feel that he could possibly have put it there himself and forgotten. He feels that it was definitely me, who put it wherever, with the unfathomable, but determined, objective that it would never, ever be found again.
Inevitably, by the time the missing cable or lead has been found, a new one has already been purchased.
One of the observations on my lengthy list, relating to the male sex, clearly states that, men are perfectly capable of searching for lost items, but totally incapable of ever finding them, particularly if aforesaid items are surrounded by others of similar shape and size. This could well explain why we have a bin bag and a half of cables and leads in the first place.
Note: A recent blog by p.r (A Day at the Shops) set the above train of thought in motion.
In which I am almost perfect
2 days ago