The Empty Nest

The traffic was heavy and fast-moving along the busy road, as we slowed to turn into the arboretum. The gravel crunched beneath the tyres, as we drove through the tall, black, wrought iron, double gates into a contrasting world of peace and tranquility. It had been several years since we had last visited the arboretum and the large, stately cedar, situated close to the entrance was a forgotten, but welcome sight.

We parked the car and then headed in the direction of the old cedar tree, looking forward to the first sightings of peacocks and bluebells. I watched our 3 young sons, running ahead, chasing each other around the cedar's ample trunk. The peacocks' calls echoed all around us, as we walked towards the bluebell dell, and the boys continued to run in front, laughing and calling to one another. They bent down low, to run in and out of the accommodating, natural dens, formed by numerous, spreading, glossy-leaved rhododendrons. They hid behind large, reddish-brown, velvety trunks of giant sequoia and jumped out, in eager anticipation, whilst we were still nowhere near.

Eventually, in a grassy, sunny clearing, we came across a peacock, displaying its bejewelled tail, and even our young, excited sons stopped short, in awe of the exotic bird, slowly turning and shaking its glorious feathers. When we reached the magical, bluebell dell they were, once again, brought to a halt, by the enchanting sea of brilliant blue, which lay before them, still and undisturbed, bathed in dappled shade. We sat, for a few short minutes, on a nearby bench, whilst our 3 young boys ran to and fro, along the path in front of us, marvelling at their inexhaustible supplies of energy. Slowly, we walked back towards the large cedar, with the boys still running in front, stopping only occasionally, to pick up the odd fir cone from the ground.

In the car, once more, as we neared the wrought iron gates, I opened the window, to gaze past the large cedar. In the distance, I caught glimpses of our 3 young sons, still chasing each other around the tall, imposing trees. Their laughter was drowned by the mournful cries of the peacocks, cries which rose above the tallest branches, to escape into the clear, blue, vacant skies. I glanced into the empty back seat of the car, as we approached the busy main road, and I knew, in my heart, that my young family was lost to me, forever.

Apology

Sorry about my absence from the blogging world, once more. I have a chest infection and I'm feeling very sorry for myself. I tend to be either coughing or sleeping, at the moment, but sometimes I am doing both! I will return!

A Dark Secret

Have I attracted your attention?

Firstly, I would just like to apologise for my absence from the blogging world over the past few days. I've been forced into practising my word processing skills, so that I can apply for a job, which I need, but don't want. It's a hard life, sometimes, isn't it?

I was tagged by maggie may a few weeks ago. I had to have a think about it, as I found it a really difficult one to try and make into an interesting post. The requirement was to relate 6 things that you may not have known about me, but the things you don't know about me become fewer and fewer! Anyway, here goes:

1. I'm a miniaturist. For anyone who is not sure what that means, (and nowadays, when the word is used, it doesn't often refer to an artist who paints very small paintings) a miniaturist is interested in making and/or collecting items in a smaller scale. In my case, I mainly like to make, as opposed to collect, and I favour one twelfth scale. Miniatures are generally displayed in a cabinet, dolls' house, room box or vignette.

Many miniaturists tend to keep quiet about their interest, as it can still be regarded as mildly eccentric, by some, but it is a growing hobby and its popularity, amongst women, in the UK, is reputed to be second only to gardening! There are shops throughout the country, numerous internet sites, a large section on Ebay and fairs every weekend, in many different locations, where dolls' houses and miniatures are available.

Queen Mary's Dolls' House, on display at Windsor Castle, is probably the most famous dolls' house of all and, no doubt you have all heard of it and perhaps even seen it. You may be interested to know that the White House has been faithfully reproduced in miniature, over a period of 32 years and that the Royal Pavilion, in Brighton has also been treated in a similiar way.

2. I have a one twelfth scale dolls' house, which contains many miniatures I made myself.

3. My dolls' house has been featured in 2 magazines.

4. I made the vignette pictured below for my mother:

(Clicking on the pictures should enlarge them.)

The vignette is reminiscent of the living room, in the house where I grew up, which my parents moved from, only a few years ago. We were a working class family, so there was never much money to spare. We didn't have anything fancy and none of the furnishings were stylish, but it was a cosy, comfortable home, and we lived there very happily. Most of my mother's interests are represented in the vignette. She liked to sew and made most of my clothes, when I was a child. We always visited my grandparents on a Sunday afternoon and it wasn't unusual for her to make me an item of clothing, on a Sunday morning, to wear the same afternoon. This would often result in us going out later than intended and my father would get very frustrated with waiting around, as I'm sure you can imagine!

I can remember coming home from school, on many occasions, to find the living room covered in paper patterns and fabric, whilst my mother worked away industriously, on her old Singer sewing machine. She also enjoyed knitting and crochet and, when I was younger, putting together a jigsaw puzzle was often a family activity. I was fascinated by my mother's button tin, as a child, and this is also represented in the vignette. My parents both have a weakness for biscuits and a mug of tea must always be accompanied by the same, so this explains the presence of the tea and biscuits, on the table.

For many years, my mother and one of my aunties visited the local market, on a Wednesday afternoon, and returned with many 'bargains'. They would bring home an assortment of cheap items, which they wouldn't have wanted at their full price, but which became irresistible at a knock down price. They were teased mercilessly about their little outings, but they very much enjoyed themselves and the outings continued until my auntie's death. The 'Bargains' carrier is a reminder of those happy occasions.

I cut out the display from balsa board and a piece of green velvet represents the carpet. I scanned a piece of one twelfth scale wallpaper into the computer and printed out the picture onto a piece of fabric, which I then used to cover the back of the display. The picture on the 'wall' is one of our family photographs, which I reduced to an appropriate size, on the scanner, and then framed with one twelfth scale picture framing. Getting a miniature picture frame square, is always a nightmare, for me, as I invariably manage to cut one side a millimetre too long, or too short!

I made the chair and table from scratch, from my own patterns, but the spindles, for the table legs, were bought ready made. The pouffe is made from a piece of balsa wood, covered with a thin layer of foam and then fabric. I prised the sewing machine from a very cheap miniature of a treadle sewing machine and then inserted it into a piece of wood, to give an impression of my mother's favourite old Singer sewing machine. I made the work bag from my own pattern and then worked the knitting, in thread, on pins produced especially for miniature knitting. When the knitting was the desired length, I transferred it to dressmaker's pins, which make realistic one twelfth scale knitting pins. I also worked the crochet with thread, using a very fine hook. The crochet hook, displayed on top of the crochet was fashioned by me from Fimo clay.

I made the skirt pattern pieces on a desktop publishing program and then printed them out onto tissue paper, which first had to be sellotaped onto a piece of ordinary paper, before it could go through the printer. I also made the biscuit wrapper, the carrier bag, the jigsaw box and the tape measure on my desktop publishing program. I found the tiger picture, the envelope for the skirt pattern, (on the table) the knitting patterns and the crochet pattern on the internet, reduced them to one twelfth scale and printed them out. I used a fine pen to outline the pieces of jigsaw on the tiger picture. I bought a copy of each of my mother's favourite magazines, scanned them into my computer, reduced them to the appropriate size and then printed them out. The mug, biscuits and buttons were fashioned, by me, from Fimo clay and then painted with acrylic paint, followed by a coat of varnish. The mug is filled with scenic water, (a firm, rubbery, jelly-like substance, which is one part resin and re-meltable) which is coloured with acrylic paint. The scissors, button tin and the items inside the carrier bag were bought ready made.

5. I made a second vignette, pictured below, for a friend of mine. She enjoys knitting, cross stitch, baking cakes, buying and reading books, and card making. Each of her hobbies is represented in the vignette. The display is made in the same way as I described, before. I made the armchair from balsa wood, cardboard, thin foam and fabric, from my own pattern. I copied the table from a picture in an Argos catalogue. The knitting basket is made from tapestry canvas, shaped over a mould. The cushion is filled with salt, so that it can be realistically indented! I cross stitched the sampler on the 'wall' and framed it, once again, with great difficulty! I made the cake, small plate, cup and saucer from Fimo clay. The magazine covers and book covers were scanned into the computer and reduced to the appropriate size.

The small book, lying on the floor, was one which belonged to my friend and was lent to me. The larger card standing up, on the table, is a paper copy, which I scanned into the computer and reduced to size, from a full sized card, which my friend cross stitched for me. The Craft Creations magazine, lying on the table, is a card making magazine. A page of card making 'scraps' and a card 'blank' lie on top of the magazine. I made the carrier on my desktop publishing program. The glasses, fork, scissors, table legs and paper plate, on which the cake stands, were all bought items. The most difficult things to reproduce for this vignette were the embroidery silks. I have fairly small hands and fingers, but even my fingers were too large to wrap the paper labels around the embroidery silks!

6. Some of my miniatures, but not those pictured here, have been on display at 2 local dolls' house fairs.

There we are then! I hope you don't feel that you've found out things about me, which you would never have wished to know! My dark secret is that I am a miniaturist and it's something which some miniaturists would only ever admit to other known enthusiasts! There doesn't seem to be any in-between, as far as miniatures are concerned. People are either fascinated by them, or think they are 'naff' and pointless, so I've taken a chance with this post, and I can only hope that you've found it interesting and not too naff or pointless!

Party Report

I had a fantastic time at my virtual birthday party, on Saturday! I hope that the rest of you enjoyed it, too! I confess that having the party was a bit of a last minute decision, which I made on the evening before my birthday. I realised that it was far too late to post an open invitation on my blog, so I decided to call in at the site of each person, who had commented on my blog, during the past month, as it seemed likely that they would be most interested in coming along, and leave an invitation. I only tend to post once a week, so I felt that this would be an achievable task.

I was halfway through my hurried preparations, however, when my student son rang to ask if we would be able to pick him up from the railway station, as he wanted to come home for the weekend. He was unable to get a direct train to the station closest to us, due to the late hour, so, 'to cut a long story short', the resulting journey, to a city we hadn't visited for years, took 3 hours out of my busy schedule!

I scheduled my party blog to publish at 6am on 7th June, but I was incredibly irritated, when I found out, a while later, that the post hadn't published, at all, and, in spite of my best efforts, I couldn't persuade it to do so. I didn't discover that it had finally published itself, until I published a second post, so I deleted the first one, in disgust! I don't understand what went wrong. The computer clock showed the correct time and agreed with the settings time in my blog. I set the publishing time correctly in my post. A third time setting must have controlled the situation from somewhere.

Another irritating thing I found, as usual, was that my spacing had disappeared, between paragraphs, after inserting the pictures. The spacing always appears perfectly in edit mode, but as soon as I publish the post, the spacing disappears. No amount of re-editing makes any difference. The final annoying thing was that, when I published the first 3 comments, mob's comment disappeared into cyberspace. I assume that this was because it had been attached to the first blog, which I had deleted! Anyway, enough moaning!

All other aspects of my birthday were great. I had lovely cards, telephone calls, presents and some very welcome cash. I went out for a very enjoyable meal, with my family, in the evening and, as those of you who were able to attend, already know, my virtual birthday party was an extremely lively event.

Frog brought along some wonderful food and delightful party bags, which she sells on her own website, incidentally. She drank far too much shandy, however, partly due to her uncontrollable excitement and partly due to some encouragement from milla, which resulted in a nasty attack of hiccoughs. Maggie may sent everyone sprawling, in her eagerness to reach the party food, but presented me with the cutest rat-in-a-box, for my birthday! The rat has made itself at home in my second best hat and, no doubt, we will soon be hearing the patter of tiny feet.

Blogthatmama beat off all defenders and managed to eat the whole of the pineapple from the top of the party jelly. I noticed, as she left the party, that she was carrying a hat which looked remarkably similar, to my own best hat. I was very pleased to receive a visit from lehners in france (Debs), but I noticed that she was also wearing a hat when she left, which she hadn't been wearing on her arrival.

Bollinger byrd proved to be a woman after my own heart, who loved to play with boys' toys and boys. I don't know which one of us was least contained, as we waited to play Spin the Bottle! Liz bought me a great birthday present, apparently, but it was so good that she took it home again, along with my prospective gardener, and I haven't caught sight of either of them since. I had no idea that he was a doctor and that she was a nurse, until she mentioned it, of course.

Working mum had a terrible reaction to the spam sandwiches. If she'd been born into a working class family, in the 50s, she would have been much more accomplished in the art of keeping them down, of course. A mother's place is in the wrong sang 'Happy Birthday' very tunefully and turned out to be a 'wow', when it came to jiving. She certainly doesn't need any lessons in putting jelly away, either!

Mob bought me a nice hula hoop and dealt expertly with the rude young lad, who pulled away her chair, as she was about to sit down, whilst we were playing Musical Chairs. We all admired her frilly knickers and we are hoping to buy the same style for ourselves from M&S, or was it Anne Summers? I couldn't help but notice that mob was sporting a new hat, on her departure. It bore a remarkable resemblance to my own. I did hear that there had been some sort of altercation between mob and Debs. It was something to do with a hat and mob getting jelly in her hair. Hmmm...... Wonder what that was all about?

Milla bought me a nice present. It was a remarkably familiar jewellery roll, wrapped in remarkably familiar birthday paper and she simply refused to remind me of the date of her next birthday, oddly enough. Rose tagged along with Liz and I was very pleased to see her, in spite of the din she made with her creaky knees. She had recently enjoyed an un-birthday, which could be a very interesting concept, I thought. After the age of say, 55, we could start subtracting a year, instead of adding one.

Auntiegwen bought me St Trinians DVDs for my birthday, which pleased me immensely, as Joyce Grenfell, an idol of mine, appeared in the original St Trinians films. Nora observed that none of the bloggers had behaved particularly well, during the party, which they didn't, of course, but they were extremely entertaining and certainly made the occasion memorable! Nora suggested frying up spam, in butter, to make it more enjoyable. If only my mother had known about that idea in the 50s.!

Robin brought along a little whine to the party. There was plenty of wine for everyone, but I was forced to run all the way to Tesco Express and back, to buy some ice cream to accompany her cake! I was very pleased when edward decided to come along to my party. He bought me some lovely candles, but, unfortunately, there weren't enough to put on my cake, even though he had found it necessary to hire a trailer to transport them.

I think I can safely say that aims was easily the most excited out of everyone. She was totally confused by Pin the Tail on the Donkey and I still don't know where she found the donkey. I haven't heard of anyone complaining of a missing donkey, around here, so far. I'm still cleaning up bits of cake, which she spread around everywhere, but at least she enjoyed herself. That's the main thing.

I was very relieved, in the end, that grit gave me perfume sludge for my birthday. It was definitely preferable to the funeral wreath, which is her other speciality, apparently. I didn't have to bother clearing away any of the leftover food, as she took most of it with her. She's certainly not backward in coming forward, as my mother often observes of people. Misskris startled me considerably, by turning up several hours early for the party. It's very easy to forget that some bloggers may be in different time zones. I was very pleased that she remembered to call back, however, and bring a birthday hug.

Suburbia arrived a little late and cheerfully polished off the remaining food. She helped me to eat the yummy chocolates which she had bought for ME, but we never found out who had taken her party bag, I'm afraid. Merry weather was too late for any food. She also bought some lovely chocolates with her and we partied, together, until the Hell's Angels turned up. I'm saving the story of what we got up to with the Hell's Angels for another time.

I was very pleased when mignon called in. She indulged in her favourite pastime of chasing the boys, but I'm relieved to say that, on this occasion, she only lost her sunglasses. Debra overdid it with the babychams and I'm still trying to get the stain out of the carpet. She very astutely realised that I must have been an Enid Blyton fan, in my youth, and bought me a set of Mallory Towers books for my birthday. I can't imagine what gave her the impression that I might still be an escapist!

Scrappysue was kind enough to call in and I'm pleased to report that she very much enjoyed herself, along with the party food, games and music. Wakeupandsmellthecoffee was too late for the party this year, unfortunately, but is determined to be in time for the next one. I'll have to make sure that she is. I am relieved to be able to say that frog kindly offered to email virtual party bags to maggie may and suburbia, after theirs mysteriously went missing.

Now.......... The only thing left to discuss seems to be the disappearance of my best hat. Do you remember some years ago, when the odd garden gnome would suddenly go missing from someones front garden and then send postcards to the house owners from all over the world? I have received the following postcards from my hat:

Dear Mean Mom
Having a great time, here in the UK. Enjoying good weather and great food. See you soon.
Love
Hat




















Dear Mean Mom
Having a great time, here in France. Saw the Eiffel Tower, today and the weather's great. Eating lots of scrummy jelly.
Love
Hat












Dear Mean Mom
Having a great, relaxing time at this wonderful spa. May be home soon, though, because the money is running out!
Love
Hat









Thanks, once more, to everyone, who came along to my virtual party. I hope that I haven't offended anyone with this post. It certainly wasn't my intention! The commenting, on the party blog, outshone the post, as usual. but I don't mind in the least, being a showcase for your imaginative and inspired remarks. Any strangers calling by, who haven't a clue what's going on here, should see the previous post, the post entitled '1950s Virtual Birthday Party' and READ THE COMMENTS associated with both. I should warn you, however, that you may remain in a confused condition.

Here's to the next party! Please excuse me, now, whilst I go in search of a darkened room! I may be gone for some time!

Thank You Note

Thanks so much to everyone, who was able to attend my virtual birthday party on Saturday! It was absolutely brilliant and the excitement was palpable! I was amazed by the response and I received some wonderful comments and virtual presents!

To anyone, who was unable to come, for whatever reason, I would just like to say that you were sadly missed and I do hope that you will be able to come along to the next one. Heavens, will there be another one? If there is, I must be better organised and I won't be risking bloggers' post scheduling, again, unless I can work out what went wrong, this time!

To any latecomers - don't be too shy to leave a comment on the party post. The party can continue for a few days, yet. This is the internet, after all!

I am working on the next post, but real life is getting in the way, a little, at the moment. Don't you just hate it, when that happens?

1950s Virtual Birthday Party

Does anyone remember Joyce Grenfell? If you do, you will realise that this post has been inspired by her, to a certain extent.

Hi, girls and boys! Welcome to my 1950s birthday party! It doesn't matter if you don't have an invitation. Come on in and put your presents on the hall table. Now, I'm sorry, but you can't come in if you haven't brought a present! What? None of you have brought a present? Okay, then, just leave a tenner, in my best hat, on the hall table, as you leave.

It's great to see you girls in your lovely, nylon party frocks and you boys in your short trousers, and shirts and ties. The last time I saw legs like that, they had sparrows attached to them! No, you all look very smart, really. Right, let's sit over here, for a few minutes, whilst we play Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Who's that crying already? You're supposed to be pinning the tail on the picture of the donkey, on the wall, not on one of my favourite bloggers! Well, it's very rude of you to say that you thought she looked like a donkey. What a naughty blogger you are! Now, you can put that away! It's not polite to do that, either!

Right, let's have a game of musical chairs! You know what to do. When the music stops, sit on a chair and the one left without a chair is out.......... Now, who moved that chair, just as my favourite blogger was about to sit on it? Don't cry, dear! I'm sure that nobody saw your frilly knickers, when you fell on the floor. Well, he may have said that he did, but I know that he didn't. He's just teasing. I don't know who you are, young man, but I've told you that it's very rude to do that. Now, put it away!

Okay, let's have a nice quiet game of Sleeping Lions, before tea. Everybody lie down and keep still! Goodness me! What a lot of grunting, groaning and creaking! Is everybody down yet ? First one to fidget is out............... You're very quiet and still! It hadn't occurred to me, before, but it's much easier to keep quiet and still, when you're older, isn't it?

Okay, it's been 10 minutes, now, since anybody moved. WAKE UP! Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to startle you! Yes, alright, you can all have a prize.

Let's have something to eat, now! Follow me to the table and sit down quietly! There are some empty seats at the table. Who's missing? The older bloggers? Oh, here they come! They couldn't get up off the floor, but they've managed to drag themselves along on their arthritic elbows. That's it! Haul yourselves up and collapse on your chairs. Alright, don't forget to grunt, as you sit down! Oh, you didn't! That's good!

Now, we've got jam, salmon and spam sandwiches and cheese straws. Then, there's biscuits, cake, jelly and blancmange. There's Corona and Tizer pop to drink. What about your teeth? Oh, I see. Well, we didn't bother about teeth in the 50s. did we? We either had them filled, or we had them removed.

No fighting over the spam sandwiches, please! DON'T toss the bread to one side, after you've licked off the jam! The cheese straws are for eating, not for treading into the carpet! Young man, I don't want to have to tell you again. Put that away, please!

Will you 2 bloggers stop fighting and jostling my elbow? If I miss my mouth with this jelly, once more, I shall give you both a Chinese burn! Now, who's flicking blancmange up the walls? Okay, that's enough! Young man, I'm tired of telling you! Put that tongue back in your mouth, immediately!

Let's have a game of Pass the Parcel! Where did I put that parcel? Ah, here it is.

Now, girls, what are you up to? The boys don't want to play Kiss Chase! Why have you tied their legs together? Well, I can see that they've got no chance of getting away, but that's not fair, is it? Actually, who's that young, dark, handsome, muscular chap? Okay, untie all of them, except for him. I'm still looking for a gardener!

Whew, I'm exhausted! I can't do Pass the Parcel, until I've had a proper drink. There's some shandy in the kitchen........... Aaargh! Don't trample on me! Whatever is wrong with all of you?

Okay, I can't see much, yet, but I'm coming round, now. HOW DID I GET THAT MUDDY FOOTPRINT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY FACE?

Right, there's just time for a quick game of Hide and Seek, before you have to go home! Oh, you're already hiding, from the look of it..............

Okay, I've been looking for a few minutes, now, but I can't find anybody. Even my prospective gardener has managed to slip away. All I've found, so far, is a pile of empty bottles in the kitchen. Ah, here's a couple of birthday presents I must have missed! That's so nice! Some perfume sludge from grit, a jewellery roll from milla and a French stick, from debra. I can't see any difference between this French stick, and an English stick, to be honest. It looks like one of those that might have been lying around in my front garden! Thanks a lot, ladies! I'll save the perfume for the next time I go to a garden party, at The Palace, I'll keep the jewellery roll at the bottom of my deepest drawer and I'll use the stick to stop my cosmos falling over, in the summer storms.

Right, there's just the hall to check out now. At least I should have plenty of cash, in my hat, on the hall table. Okay, WHERE'S MY BEST HAT?

The Cautious Blogger

Warning: This post contains some slightly saucy references!

Do I have your attention, by any chance?

I was a careful and cautious blogger when I first set up my site. I was inspired, by Wife in the North, as many of us were, when I read an article about her, in a magazine. I loved essay writing, as a youngster (This explains why most of my posts are so long, then!) and decided that writing again, on a blog, might be rewarding and fun.

I searched through loads of sites, looking for some blogging friends. I found plenty of abandoned sites, a few others which had been filled up with spam, a lot which didn't seem to want visitors, and some, with so many buttons and bells, that I could hardly find the content. Whilst searching for some 'down to earth' bloggers, that I could have a laugh with, it is true to say that I came across quite a few bloggers with their heads firmly stuck up their own arses. I avoided them. It was bad enough, sometimes, being forced to deal with them in the course of my ordinary life, without seeking them out on the Internet!

Eventually, I found a few people through Wife in the North's blogroll and comments. I remained cautious, however. I wanted to try and avoid problems, if possible. I made sure that my comments were monitored, and that no-one had the opportunity to fill up my site with spam. I didn't venture very far, from my little corner.

After an enforced break, of a few months, due to illness and Christmas preparations, I resumed posting and became a little bit braver. I linked to a few more people and commented on a few more sites. You could say that I 'put myself about a little bit more'! The traffic, on my site, increased a little and I began to take some interest in Site Meter, which I had installed, not long after starting my blog. I soon discovered that the searches were the most interesting section of the stats! I was amazed to discover what people searched for on the Internet. I was also amazed, sometimes, that Google, or whatever search engine, threw up my site as being relevant! I could see, however, that the reason why my site appeared on so many questionable searches, was due to the 'middle-aged mom' portion of the title. Who would have thought it? Not me, that's for sure!

I wish, now, that I had kept a record of all of the funny searches, which appeared on my Site Meter, but, unfortunately, I didn't, so I can only share a few of the most recent ones with you. I suppose I should say, at this point, that anyone who has visited my site, due to a questionable search, should not panic. I can't trace you and wouldn't wish to, to be honest! The following searches have been listed on my Site Meter, over the past few weeks:

1. moms open wide
2. hot over-aged moms
3. middle aged hot mommies
4. middle age women photos rough (My site was on page 2, of that one. I can't be that rough, then.)

The most common search I've found, routinely, has been for 'aged mom', which may not be particularly remarkable, in itself, but I've found it in various languages, which has baffled me, to a certain extent. I've found this particular search on Google in French, Spanish, Japanese, some sort of Arabic language and 2 languages, which I couldn't even recognise. Whenever I see the page for 'aged mom' appear, I try very hard not to look at the description of the first site on the page, even though my eyes are oddly drawn towards it! It's a bit of a shocker and I keep my cursor well away from it, just in case! If you are of a sensitive nature, I don't think you should look, at all, to be honest! If you are curious, search Google for 'aged mom'. It should be a web search, as opposed to a UK search. No clicking on that first site and don't forget to come back! Bad bloggers!

Some other searches have appeared on Site Meter, where I couldn't see my site mentioned, so I can only assume that it was mentioned several pages further on. These have included:

1. aged big moms
2. I have a crush on a patient's mother
3. mommy beach pee blog
4. middle aged hot and wet
5. naked, middle-aged females

All I can say, is that I must have had more disappointed visitors than I could ever have anticipated!

I once found my entire blog, translated into French, using Google Translate, I assumed. I only studied French for about 18 months, so I've no idea how close a translation it was. The title was Moody Moyenne D'Age Moyen Maman. Maybe my posts made more sense in French!

I also found a search from blogged.com and bloguzz.com, which turned out to be a Spanish site, with a section of English blogs. Each blog had a rated page and a graph, but it meant nothing to me, because I couldn't understand it! I was slightly disturbed, however, to find that the post featured on my index page was the one entitled My Best Side, which showed a photo' of me, bending over in the garden. Oh, dear! The careful and cautious blogger, who was under the impression that she was, somewhat quietly, blogging away in her little corner, suddenly became aware that pictures of her bottom could well be appearing all over the world. Hmmm .......

It's all my own fault, of course, and I don't really mind sharing my best backside photo' with the rest of the world. After all, it's a comical one, not a pornographic one, and I don't think that anyone would ever recognise me, from that angle! They wouldn't would they?

Anyway, how about you? Do you have Site Meter, or anything similar? Have you found any searches, which made you laugh, or gasp with horror? I would love to know!