Well, this time she's gone and accidentally done it. She was distracted whilst booking the tickets over the telephone and now, I suppose I have a choice. Pick up my ticket from my friend and ring the theatre to explain the mistake, or hope that no one asks me for proof of my age, when I finally present my ticket at the theatre.
I'm considering putting cotton in my ears and pebbles in my shoes, to make myself appear older, for my theatre visit, but my dilemma has also led to me thinking about a few other things, this week, that can generally emphasize the more mature woman's age, or make her look older. So far, I've come up with the following:
2. A toy boy.
3. Clubbing with her daughter.
4. Sending her pocket-sized packet of Rennie soft chews flying across the dance floor, whilst rummaging in her handbag for her embroidered handkerchief.
5. Possessing an embroidered handkerchief.
6. Exposing decollete and cleavage, which would benefit from frequent basting with half a pound of goose fat.
7. A fat face, or fat knees, arising from displacement, caused by prolonged use of her vice-like, but super-slimming bodysuit.
8. Breathing in, but not out.
9. HRT patches accidentally transferred to her face.
10. Matt black hair on the over 65s.
11. A dark tan on wrinkled skin.
12. Lurid make up only usually seen on the ugly sisters during the panto season.
13. False talons varnished bright red.
14. A belly bar or an eyebrow ring.
15. Wearing so much bling-bling that the manager of the local H Samuel stands eagerly on the doorstep of his establishment, whenever she is in the high street.
16. Earrings better suited to hanging from high, drawing room ceilings, rather than ears, combined with large specs.
17. A leotard.
18. Skinny fit clothes designed for supermodels on a diet of cocaine and crumbs.
19. A headscarf.
20. A little scarf, worn under her coat, to keep her neck cosy.
Now, just a minute. Mario Lanza, Rennies, handkerchief, matt black hair, dry skin, lurid make up, bling-bling, headscarf, little scarf. Yay! I'm nearly there! The only thing I'm short of is a toy boy! Any offers?
Silence can be deafening, you know. ;0(
I'm sure that none of you 'more mature' lady bloggers are guilty of any of the above, but feel free to fess up, if you are. There's no one else to hear. I'll admit to listening to Mario Lanza and loving my cosy little neck scarves. Oh, and then there's the belly bar of course and a few of the other things.......
Does anyone want to give me any advice about my dilemma? What would you do? Cough up the extra money or take no notice? How would you choose to look older?