Toms and Queens

My husband has, over the past couple of months or so, taken to calling one of our cats Zara, when her name has been Tilly ever since we first adopted her, about 6 years ago. Zara is the name of my husband's female assistant, who started work for him approximately 6 months ago. The first 5 or 6 times this happened, I generously ignored his faux pas, even though, on 3 or 4 of the occasions, we had been in the bedroom, at the time. On the sixth, or seventh occasion my husband called the cat by the wrong name, we were once again in the bedroom and I asked him, in a very reasonable tone, why he kept calling the cat Zara.

He said that it was because we did once have a cat of this name. I replied that, of course, I did remember that, but she had died about 18 years previously. She had never been a favourite cat of ours. She had adopted us and allowed us to look after her. She had been close to neither of us and I couldn't even remember what had happened to her. In the 18 years since she had been gone, she had hardly ever been mentioned. The only thing the 2 cats had in common was their white and black coats.

The first cat, Zara, had been small, independent, aloof and never approached us for affection. The current cat, Tilly, is large, for a female, and somewhat clumsy. She has rather a large rear end, which she often thrusts in our faces, if she has the opportunity. She follows us around, from room to room, and likes to sleep on our bed, day or night. She occasionally sits on my husband's lap, but never on mine. She likes to sit on my husband's chest, when we are settled in bed, at night, and will occasionally sit on mine. She sometimes chases our tom cat around the house and he sometimes chases her.

It seems an enormous coincidence that my husband has suddenly begun to call Tilly by the name of Zara, only within the last couple of months. I could assume that, after 6 years, our cat Tilly has suddenly begun to remind my husband of our cat, Zara, who died 18 years ago. I could assume that his new assistant, of 6 months, is often in his thoughts. I could assume that our current cat, Tilly, reminds my husband of his new assistant. I would like to insert a table of comparisons, concerning our old cat Zara, our current cat, Tilly and my husband's assistant, Zara, at this point, but I am unable to do so, on Blogger, so the following lists will have to suffice.

Zara Cat

1. Small
2. Pretty face
3. Graceful
4. Small bottom
5. Small paws
6. Aloof
7. Didn't thrust her bottom in our faces
8. Never came anywhere near us
9. Never chased the tom cat

Tilly Cat

1. Large
2. Pretty face
3. Clumsy
4. Large bottom
5. Large paws
6. Affectionate
7. Likes to thrust her bottom in our faces
8. Sits on lap and chest
9. Chases the tom cat

Zara Assistant

1. Large
2. Face
3. Graceless
4. Large bottom
5. Large everything
6. Attempts to curry favour, using flattery and womanly wiles
7. Fetch me a bucket! Too late, better bring a mop!
8. Who knows what she might do, for an extra day's holiday?
9. Whose tom cat is she chasing? Surely, my tom cat isn't chasing her?

My good friend, Christina, recently invited us to her house, for a meal, one evening, which prompted me to send her an email along the lines of the one below:

Hi Chris

I have checked with my husband and Thursday 15th May is fine for us to come round, for a meal, if it is still OK with you. You will be relieved to know that husband and I are speaking, again, so we will all be able to sit around the same table!

Husband has given a satisfactory explanation as to why he keeps calling one of our cats by his assistant's name, when we are in the bedroom. It is because we had a cat of that name, who died 18 years ago and has never been mentioned since. Lucky coincidence, eh?

You were right when you said I should be grateful that he had never called me Zara. I am very grateful. If he ever calls me Zara, I will knock all of his teeth out.

Do you think that we should have soup with no chunks, on Thursday evening?

Much love

Mean Mom