Friday, 18 April 2008

It's All About Me!

I have been tagged by maggie may.

  1. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
  2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
  3. At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, which should inform them that they've been tagged and that the details are on the player's blog.

This promises to be such a boring post, because I've led such a boring life. Do you have any parcel tape? If you do, I suggest you use it, at this point, to tape your eyes open.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was living in the same place as I am, now, with my husband and 3 sons. I had a highly paid part-time job, as a lap dancer, in a local nightclub.

Name 5 snacks you enjoy.

I never eat snacks.

If you were a billionaire, how would you spend the money?

I am a billionaire. I ensure that the financial needs of my family and friends are met. I don't live in a mansion. I don't wear designer clothes. I live modestly. I give a fair proportion of my wealth to charity, whilst still ensuring that enough money remains to provide for my husband and myself in our old age.

Name 5 jobs you have had.

I was a published author, by the age of 10, and a professional blues singer, by the age of 18. I have also been a fashion designer and a professional artist. My favourite job has been that of mother to my 3 sons.

Name 3 bad habits you have.

I don't have any bad habits, only good ones.

Name 5 places where you have lived.

USA, New Zealand, Canada, Japan and Australia.

Did I get you going there, for a moment? Bet you didn't drop off to sleep, did you? When did you suss me out? Sorry? When you got to the bit about me being a published author? Don't spare my feelings, will you? Don't be afraid to speak your mind! You didn't have any problem with the lap dancing, then?

Okay. Leave the parcel tape in place because I'm about to tell the truth.

10 years ago, I was living where I am today, with the same husband and 3 sons. I had 3 part-time jobs and the household tasks remained my responsibility, much to my disgust. My post 'A Woman's Dilemma' stemmed, partly, from my feelings, at that time.

5 snacks I enjoy are Waitrose's cashew nuts and giant pretzels, Nairns cheesy oatcakes, Hovis digestive biscuits and bananas. Any of the aforementioned companies, who are intent on sending me lorry loads of complimentary goods, should send them to my virtual address.

If I were a billionaire, I would pay for my father to have his second pacemaker fitted privately and today. (The first one isn't working.) I would buy my parents a bungalow, or pay for the desperately-needed alterations to their current home, if they didn't want to move again. I would also pay for them to have help with jobs around the house, as I live too far away to be of regular help to them. In addition, I would bribe the manager at their local Mecca bingo hall to let them win something, at least once a week!

I would arrange for my own house and garden to be moved elsewhere, within our country town, but to somewhere with a little more land. I would have new furniture and carpets, plus some new clothes. I would buy my husband a canal boat and ensure that other family and close friends received help with anything they needed. I would buy my sons their own houses in the Outer Hebrides and change the locks at my own house, as soon as they moved out. I might, or I might not, let them have details of our new address. I would try to boost the funds of some of the less popular charities.

5 jobs that I have had are - office assistant in hospital admin, clerical officer in the Civil Service, audio typist/word processor, admin assistant and wife plus mother. You might say that amounts to 6, I suppose. Okay, yes, the first 4 are just 4 different ways of saying that I worked in an office. So?

3 bad habits I have are - blogging, when I should be doing something else (like now), staying up into the early hours to blog and falling into a deep sleep, whilst on the 'phone to my mother, whenever she rings me after 9pm. (In the distance I suddenly hear her saying 'Mean mom, mean mom - are you still there?) I think that the last 2 may be related in some way.

I lived in 2 different locations in the Black Country and a village in Buckinghamshire, before I moved here. I have lived here for about 22 years, so I can't give you details of a fifth location, because there hasn't been one, so far.

The 5 people I would like to know more about are:




swearing mother and


Can I hear someone snoring? It's very rude to fall asleep, whilst I'm still speaking, you know.


Swearing Mother said...

I am very bad at Memes, and I nearly always forget to a) mention the rules, b) abide by the rules and c)do anything I supposed to.

Still want me? I'm all yours!

Working mum said...

Thanks for the coffee. What is it about Hovis biscuits? I love them. Especially with a good mature cheddar. :)

Mean Mom said...

swearing mother - Yes. You're just trying to wriggle out it. They can be hard work, can't they, Memes? I won't be checking up on you, to be honest, not for that reason, anyway. I might be checking up to see whether you've blogged again, however, about anything whatsoever.

Mean Mom said...

working mum - Oh, you're so right! Excuse me, I must reach for the biscuit tin and get to that bit of cheese left in the 'fridge, before anyone else does.

Mignon said...

Just to let you know. It will take about a month to grow my eyelashes back. They are all stuck to the tape now. And what a waste, your not that boring! You do party like a rock star.

Mean Mom said...

mignon - Oh, yeah, you're right! I'd forgotten that! Sorry about the eyelashes.

Mean Mom said...

mignon - Now, just a minute. I almost missed that. Shouldn't that have read 'You're not boring at all, mean mom'?

Swearing Mother said...

Mean Mom, you've been and gone and done it now! I've Meme'd like I've never Meme'd before.

And it's all your fault!

Thanks for giving me a nudge.


Mean Mom said...

swearing mother - Oooh! Awesome! Coming to see!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

This was terrifically funny! What a geat wit you are m'dear! Gave me quite a chuckle. Ta hen

Mean Mom said...

mob - Coming from you, that is praise indeed! I am humbled..... or did you mean twit???

Suburbia said...

I enjoyed reading about you! Maggie May sent me mine. I particularly liked the bit about moving your sons to the Outer Hebrides! Thanks for visiting my place. Please call again....often....daily... ok every hour would do... if you're not busy of course!

Mean Mom said...

suburbia - Now you're just encouraging me! You'll be sorry! Watch out, I'll be over later! Hope you've blogged since I came last time, or there might be trouble!

Grit said...

i can do this one! this requires no technical expertise at all!! just memory! er...

Mean Mom said...

grit - It's not compulsory, but I will be over to read it, if you do it, of course!

Maggie May said...

What! Snore on your blog! We wouldn't dare.
You did have me going a bit at first!

Mean Mom said...

maggie may - I hoped that I'd get someone going! First reaction is always to believe, isn't it? 2 of my friends told me that a new species of penguin had been discovered around April Fools Day - the flying penguin. They'd swallowed the report on tv, hook, line and sinker!! Did you see it?

Jules said...

Oh. Sorry for getting here a bit late. You see, I was over at this party at the Waldorf.
And can you believe this? There was a horse and cart blocking the roadway! Yes indeed. It's true. Well my chariot driver, a wee bit flakey i must admit, took one look at the other driver and ..... well ....... disappeared with 'em.

It took me a while to get here since I had to hitch a ride in this funky-looking shoe type car. No room for me inside it though, so I rode on the roof. Luckily the rain missed me.

So you see, I came for my loot, but it took a while. I may have to borrow a horse and buggie, or even a fast car, if you have one, for the ride home though.

Mean Mom said...

jules - So glad that you managed to call by. Friday evening was so exciting, wasn't it? Sorry I held up the traffic. Would you like a bucket of manure for your roses? I just didn't have enough empty buckets with me, you know.

I have an old bicycle which would probably get you to the airport. Would that be OK?

softinthehead said...

I think I sussed you at the "don't eat snacks" - who'd believe that!! As to the Outer Hebrides - that is where my son might be now for all the calls he gives his mother (and on her birthday too) I think I would have to spend some of my money having him electronically tagged :) Great post. Llluuved the party - what I can remember of it. Thanks for the awards - once the jet lag subsides I will be back in action.

Mean Mom said...

softinthehead - How did I manage not to reply to this comment? No idea. Oh, well, better late than never.

I should have realised that the 'not eating snacks' bit would give me away. I know that my lads should have moved out of our house, by now, and sometimes I wish that they had, but I do tend to wonder how often we will see them, or hear from them, when they do finally leave?!