Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Magic Mirror

I have a wonderful full-length mirror in my hallway.

I check my reflection every day, before I leave the house. I am slim and of medium height. My tummy has a slight curve to it, but it's bordering on the acceptable, for a middle-aged mother of 3 grown-up children. I leave the house feeling elegant; confident that I am looking my best. Female friends and family catch sight of their own reflection in my mirror and remark "What a wonderful mirror!"

I recently went shopping for a wedding outfit, but I hate shopping, so I have to confess that it was a desperate, last minute affair. In fact, the wedding was only 2 days away, and to make matters worse, I was a bit short of money.

I travelled into the nearest city, heading straight for the only department store. My intention was to get this painful experience over and done with as quickly as possible. I wasn't very impressed with the selection of clothes on offer. It was mostly dresses and loose tops with large swirly patterns. They resembled those that women of my age had given away to charity shops in the 70s. There were lots of black leggings on sale which I remembered from the late 80s, early 90s. I was still gardening in my old ones.

I gathered together a half-acceptable selection of clothing, and threw back the changing room curtain. I shrank back, apologetically, as I realised that there was a short lady, with a thickening waistline, and a rather large tummy, already occupying the changing room. She reminded me of someone. I realised with growing horror that I was looking at my own reflection. At 5'1", I weighed a few pounds less than 8 stone. How could I look like that? Were my legs that short? Shouldn't my bottom be a little higher up? Had it always been so close to the floor? Was my tummy so large? Could that really be an accurate reflection of me?

I mopped up my tears with an old tissue I found in the bottom of my handbag, and eventually managed to choose an outfit. I picked up a splint, for my broken spirit, from the pile in the corner of the changing room, and limped to the counter to pay. The rest of the day was spent in a fruitless search for a suitable jacket, sandals and handbag. In the end, I decided that I would have to manage with those I already had.

On returning home, I tried on my new wedding outfit, and came downstairs. I gazed into the full-length mirror in my hall and smiled. The department store in the city would increase its sales considerably if it fitted full-length mirrors similiar to mine.

I have a wonderful full-length mirror in my hallway......


Swearing Mother said...

Hello Mean Mom! How lovely to read you! And also to find that you too are a Midlands girl. Love your blog, will be back ASAP to read more.

Thanks for coming over to mine.

PS where did you get your hall mirror, I want one.

Mean Mom said...

Thanks for visiting, swearing mother. I'm not certain where my mirror came from, but I suspect it was Argos. That's where a lot of our stuff comes from, anyway!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

I have a few mirrors in my house to suit my mood and waistband. If I don't like what I see in one, I go to the other. Ah, that's better. A question: why are you mom and not mum? I assumed you were American because of the mom, but if you're in the Midlands, you must be mum, right?

Mean Mom said...

wakeup - Thanks for returning. Mum and mom must be something to do with regions, I suppose. My husband calls his mum, 'mum' and was brought up in the north midlands. I always called my mom, 'mom' and was brought up in the west midlands. Friends and family in that area did the same. I am a bit further south, now, and everyone seems to say 'mum' around here.

Mean Mom said...

Coming back to your question, wakeup, I've searched on the internet, and it looks as if the term 'mom' is used specifically in the Black Country, where I spent the first 27 years of my life. I would maintain that the rest of the country has it wrong! 'Mom' as a derivative of 'mother', makes more sense than 'mum', I think.

jmtdarz said...

Does anyone know if the department stores mirrors are accurate? They make me about 15 pounds heavier.


Mean Mom said...

jmtdarz - They had better not be!