Tuesday, 2 October 2007

Tea For One

So my youngest son went off to university on Sunday. The 'moving in' experience wasn't as lengthy a process as it had been, when my middle son started, some years ago. We simply parked up, collected the key to the room and found our own way.

We sorted out the room, had a nice meal in a nearby restaurant, and finally left our youngest son outside his new room, chatting with his fellow students.

I shed a few tears on the way home in the car, under cover of the darkness, and our youngest son texted us later in the evening to say that he was having an 'amazin' time.

For everyone else life seems to carry on as normal. I try not to feel devastated, but I do. I am constantly reminded that he is missing.

When I awake, he is not in his bed. When I prepare my breakfast cereal, we have too much milk in the 'fridge. I shop in the supermarket for 3, instead of 4. I arrive home, and the house is empty. I drink my cup of tea alone. There is not enough washing for a proper load.

His pre-student paraphernalia litters every surface, but for some reason, it is when I see his name printed at the top of his latest bank statement, that I finally break down and weep.

Today my husband is manning a stand, at an exhibition, in a town nearby to where my son is staying, so he is visiting him. He is taking an aerial for student son's television set, and the 2 large cushions I have bought to make his room more comfortable. My husband will see our youngest son this afternoon. I will not.

As my husband leaves for the exhibition, this morning, I unexpectedly shed a few tears. "Why are you crying?" he asks.


Swearing Mother said...

Mean Mom, I know that feeling so well. It's like mourning a loss, and it is in a way because it's the end of an era. They don't live at home any more and you feel that your nest is rapidly becoming empty.

But they come home again! You will get used to a lesser load, i.e., shopping and washing, and it'll be so exciting when he comes back, filling your hallway with rancid bags of funny smelling washing for you to do by the time he goes off again. He'll walk in and look in your pantry and marvel at the fact it doesn't just contain beans, and the fridge has more than a pack of lager in it.

You know the drill, you've been there before. But it's not easy. I've cried my way home from Exeter more times than I care to remember.

You need a treat to cheer yourself up.

Best wishes.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

I shed a tear or two reading this. Your last one has flown the nest. How melancholy you must feel.

farming-frenchstyle said...

Yes, I too cried when I left my youngest at Lycee the other week. See blog at beginning of September. But at least they cannot be blamed for eating all the cereal/biscuits/cake etc now they are away.

Mean Mom said...

Thanks for your comment, swearing mother. You are right. It is the end of an era. We will still have a relationship, but it will never be quite the same.

I have already noticed a bit of a change in my workload, and I do not mind that at all. We made sure that student son knew how to use the laundrette, on site, before we left! Hope he takes the hint.

Mean Mom said...

Thank for visiting me again, wakeupandsmellthecoffee. I have to confess that I felt so much better after I had blogged about my feelings! Once I had 'said' everything, it was no longer going around in my head. I can cope better, now, and I haven't cried, today.

Sorry that I made you cry, too. Now, I really am a 'mean mom'!

Mean Mom said...

Glad you found me, farming frenchstyle. I have shed a few tears over my 3 lads, for various reasons, over the past 24 years, or so!

I think that student son was the only one eating in our house. We have too much food. I can hardly believe that student son was eating so much. He is as 'thin as a rake'.

softinthehead said...

Hi Mean Mom
Just found your blog via MOB, must admit to a few tears. It is emotional when they leave, as a family we left the U.K. back in the '80's - off on an exciting adventure and I have to admit not giving a moments thought to our parent's feelings. However, a few years ago when we decided to move away again, my son made other plans deciding to stay in the U.K. and go to Uni which was fine. He spent a few weeks taking bits down to Cardiff in readiness and then suddenly decided one weekend that - that was it - he was taking more stuff down this weekend and he wouldn't be back!! i.e. would not see us again before we left. I had to bite my tongue and bring the stiff upper lip into play. Payback time!