Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Showing My Pants

Whilst shopping with my parents and aunt, in their local supermarket last week, I bought half a dozen pairs of pants, paying for them at the till in the clothing section, instead of putting them on the conveyor belt with my food shopping, where they would have been on display for all to see.

After we'd all come through the checkout and paid for our other shopping, I walked through the first set of exit doors, with my relations, but the alarm went off, which resulted in the young security man quickly appearing behind us, to ask if anyone had bought any clothing. I replied that I had, automatically holding open my carrier, so that he could see what was inside. My aunt and father pretended that they didn't know me from Adam, whilst my mother instantly leapt to me defence. 'She's paid for them' my mother said, quickly.

The young lad, who couldn't have been above 20 years of age, replied 'Yes, I can see that, it's just that I don't want anyone to go home with security tags on their clothes.' He shrank back somewhat, when he saw that I had a bag full of undergarments, so I delved into the carrier and pulled out the receipt. He thanked me and initialled the receipt, explaining that the shop assistant must have forgotten to scan one of the bar codes.

'I'm upset, now,' I said solemnly, to my aunt and parents, 'because the young security chap's seen my pants!' We regarded each other for a split second, before we all roared with laughter, then, once my aunt had donned her rainhat, she took advantage of the rain slowing down a little and set off for the bus stop. I stood, with my parents, just inside the second set of exit doors, for a few minutes longer, as my mother insisted that my father should put on his raincoat and his cap, before we left the store. When we stepped outside, we could see that my aunt hadn't yet reached the bus stop, because she had stopped to talk to one of the other security men, whom she knew.

'I'm just saying how you had to show your knickers, before you could get out of the supermarket', she called, giggling, as we approached.

The security man threw back his head, guffawed loudly and shouted to me 'Yeah, show me your knickers!'

I was very close to doing as I was told, for a split second, but stopped myself just in time. After all, I didn't want this complete stranger imagining what I was wearing under my jeans the next time I was with my aunt and bumped into him! Feeling slightly embarrassed, I joined in with the laughter, ignoring the security man's second command for a peek at my newly purchased undergarments.

'She's not going to show me!' he said to my aunt, in a disappointed fashion, then, as he turned to go back into the store, he startled me considerably, by shouting to me 'I'll see your knickers, next time, then!'

Several bemused shoppers stared after me, as I hurried away, with my parents, my aunt and a bit of a red face!

I occaionally feel that I've wandered into some sort of parallel universe, when I shop in this supermarket. A lot of the staff are really friendly, but there is one young male shelf filler, aged about 18, who chats to my mother and aunt and likes to kiss the female customers on the cheek, whenever he gets the chance. He is, otherwise, very pleasant, but reminds me very much of the character PC Goody in the The Thin Blue Line, if anyone remembers the tv programme. He has, so far, managed to plant a smacker on my cheek, on 2 occasions. The first time I was unaware of his little habit, so he caught me by surprise and the second time I wasn't fast enough in getting out of his way!

Am I alone in finding the behaviour of some of the staff, in this store, a bit bewildering? Perhaps I'm just a bit of a prude and not much fun, but I can't imagine anything like this ever happening to me in the supermarket where I usually shop!

Would you have shown the second security man your new knickers? How would you feel if the young male shelf fillers at your local supermarket started stealing a kiss? Would your feelings depend upon how good looking they were? Do you feel that this sort of thing would enhance your shopping experience?


Suburbia said...

It most definitely would not!!! I don't want some spotty young whipper snapper slobbering over my cheek than you very much!! You don't get that sort of behavior in Waitrose!!!

Mean Mom said...

Suburbia - That's more or less what I thought! I spend most of my shopping time in Waitrose, too!

auntiegwen said...

Marks and Spencers have no truck with that sort of malarkey either !

Am I alone in thinking of the Little Britain sketch where David Walliams loves his mates nan ?

Jennysmith said...

Good post.

I have to say that in my brief spell at a well-known supermarket, i came across the nicest, most patient and sweetest colleagues - all races and ages - you really could meet. Security people and everyone. People who really did hit it off and get friendly with customers quickly.

But then I know what you mean - this is not Dick Emery so why should they be familiar with your intimate garments. There should be a boundary.

Tho' I do find the management vile in Waitrose xxxx

Mean Mom said...

auntiegwen - Yes, it's more than weird, isn't it? I'm just very uncomfortable with it all.

jennysmith - I'm more than happy with being friendly. I know a lot of the staff in my local Waitrose and a bit of a chat really does improve my shopping experience. I have heard that the management in my local Waitrose are a bit up their own bottoms, but I've never worked there, so it's just hearsay.

Working mum said...

Yes, Autie Gwen, you are alone in that one! I was thinking of a totally different comedy show:

Was this supermarket in Royston Vasey by any chance? A shop "for local people"? Sounds weird enough.

Maggie May said...

Mean Mom, there is probably a great deal of difference between the type of pants you wear & the type of pants I wear! So No.... most definitely not! I would have told that second man to take a jump into a pair of Y fronts! He wouldn't get so much as a peek!

Mean Mom said...

Working Mum - Lol! No, not in Royston Vasey. It's a very large Sainsburys in the West Midlands, believe it or not. Perhaps it was the inspiration for The League of Gentlemen, though!

Maggie May - Glad we are of the same mind! I was beginning to wonder if I was the one who was weird!

softinthehead said...

Well it certainly makes a trip to the supermarket interesting and I might manage to stay awake and buy more interesting stuff :)

Mean Mom said...

soft - Supermarket shopping is mind numbing most of the time, isn't it?

Rose said...

I am definitely in agreement with you! Here in the US the cheek kisser could be fired for sexual harrassment. And the security man went way too far in his little "joke." It's one thing to laugh when your aunt told him the story, but that should have been the end of it. I've been stopped by an alarm going out the door of a store when they forgot to take off the security tags; that's embarrassment enough! I don't think I would be shopping there anymore.

The Gossamer Woman said...

I think it's a very bad joke of that security man to demand to see your knickers, but it started with your aunt who felt compelled to tell him all about it.

I would hate for the personnel to start kissing me in the local supermarket and I may stop going there or file a complaint with the management, depending on how brave I felt. Maybe I'd slap him if he tried it again.

Granny on the Web said...

I think I would have told him to go and buy some for himself, if he wanted to handle ladies undies! Definitely not the ones I had paid for. Cheeky young whippersnapper!!!

Love Granny

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Well - if George Clooney decided to do some work experience at our local supermarket I probably would join the queue, but only for a smacker (I could not now show him my much larger knickers)- although Hugh Grant might appreciate them. Hmmm!

Great post MM - made me laugh. A x

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

I like a bit of banter but shy away from banter around underwear with strangers! I would have been rather red faced too. Next time get some old tramps knickers in your shopping bag and show them to him! Tell him that his wife gave them to you as she thought you should have a pair of his pants!

Deanna said...

I like friendly but... not cozy. I sure would want some snot nosed teen slobbering on my cheek! Ewwwww. I've been trying for days to read this post. Everytime I clicked on it, Internet Explorer would kick me out. I've been having that problem a lot lately. Frustrating!

Mean Mom said...

Rose - Yes, I don't like the way the shelf filler behaves, but he is a sensitive lad, I would say and I wouldn't like to get him into trouble.I shall just have to run faster, next time.

Yes, I feel that the second security man took things too far. I have been caught out by things not being scanned, before. It is embarrassing.

The Gossamer Woman - Yes, I blamed my aunt, to a certain extent. She is 78 and has been behaving a bit out of character, lately. I can't face the thought of getting the young shelf filler into trouble. I'm a bit soft, sometimes.

Granny - That would have been a good retort, if only I could have thought of it! Unfortunately, I was speechless!

Strawberry - Lol! George Clooney? Well, maybe I would have been chasing him around the supermarket for a smacker and a peek at his undergarments!

Mob - Lol! I am determined to do that very thing, the next time I see this security man! I am having a bit of difficulty in finding a pair of old tramps knickers, though! (Best not to answer that one!)

Mean Mom said...

Deanna - No, I'm glad that we are all of the same mind. It's creepy, isn't it?

Apparently, a lot of people are experiencing this problem with different sites. Something to do with Blogger doing some updates a few days ago. My screen froze, a few mins ago on Strawberry Jam Anne's site. Frustrating!

Robin said...

Yuck, I would not like having anyone at the store I shop at laying a wet one one me. EWW!

I have to say though the more you protested about showing your panties, the more even I wanted to see them. ;)

Mean Mom said...

Robin - You are funny! You so often manage to come up with the unexpected!

(I did already add a picture of my panties to the post, though, of course.) ;0)

Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

sorry Mean Mom, not forgotten you, just life been flowing over me since I got back from Aus. Been very lazy on the blogging front.

Will read this interesting post more later at my leisure, just wanted you to know I am stil in the land of the living.

Hope you are getting better with your fraught life ........been thinking of you.

Hope your Son's physical health has improved and your Dad is ok.

I have been remiss in calling in. but will promise to do better soon, once I have got back into the blogging scene.

It has been good to have a holiday though! But starting to miss the buzz of blogging once more

Letty ;0)

Mean Mom said...

Letty - Thanks! Nothing is improving much. Middle Son's leg is healing slowly, but nothing else gets better, to be honest.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Very good! Wondered where you were!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

I think we all should have to show our knickers. Security guards included. It would be a much nicer world then. Not a pretty world necessarily, but nicer.

Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

oh god, I hate being kissed by strange unknown peeps!

Very funny post, sorry I have been missing in action, I hope all your probs with parents and your son are better now. I have been a very bad blogger just lately, although getting back in harness now it seems!

How funny you should post this, because I was in a hurry the other day, and a young man was on the check out, who insisted on telling me about how his BCG injection on his arm had burst recently and all the puss had spurted out...........

Perhaps I shop in the same supermarket at your Aunt!!

No, I would not have shown my knickers either, there is joking and there is also a line to be drawn!

Letty xxxxxxxxx

aims said...

Where are you? I'm missing you!

Mean Mom said...

Aims and everyone - Sorry I am missing at the moment. I am very worried and can't seem to concentrate on anything much. My eldest son is a sub contractor and is without work. His girlfriend's company is about to go bust. They live together and we are guarantors for the rent. My student son was taken ill a few weeks ago and I don't know what will happen about the 2nd year of his course, or whether he will finish it. My father still has breathing problems. My middle son is finally walking again without a stick - the only bit of good news that I have! There are other worries, too, but I don't want to depress you too much. Love to everyone! Please try not to forget me! Mean Mom

aims said...

Oh sweetie! I'm so sorry to hear of all the troubles.

Know that I think of you often and do miss you.

Remember that blogland is not a place you HAVE TO BE - just some place to get lost for a bit of time.

Wishing you better times and better days and I hope your son gets over his illness soon.

The Green Stone Woman said...

Good luck with all the sad things that are happening in your life. I'm sorry to hear about them. Things never seem to happen by themselves, so they? I wish you a lot of strength and fortitude.


Mean Mom said...

aims and irene - Thanks for your kind comments! On the plus side, Middle son is returning to work on Monday. Unfortunately, we had news today that Student son will have to repeat the 2nd year of his course, as this is his second period of illness in this academic year and he hadn't quite caught up from the first. This is a bitter blow and something I was hoping he would be able to avoid. It means an extra year of finance, which will mean a bigger debt for him at the end of his course. He had slotted in well with the other people in his learning group and will now have to join another. Also the students he is sharing a house with will finish their courses next year and he will have to find some others to share with for his final year. I'm gnashing my teeth at the moment, but I suppose it'll be OK when I've got used to the idea!

Mom of Three said...

When those silly beepers go off, we just keep walking. And never has anyone ever come running after us, tackling us in the parking lot. I have no doubt they would have loved to have waved my maxi-pads around and pulled out my box of bikini wax, looking for the offending tag, however, they'll have to work for it.

Maggie May said...

Sorry to hear about the problems and hope you feel better about it all soon.
I was told once that if you have problems, then it means you are alive! So that is the only consolation!

Mean Mom said...

Mom of Three - Yes! It's not the first time I've had the beepers go off by any means - though it was the first time in this store. I find it quite embarrassing enough for this to happen, even when I don't have a carrier bag full of knickers!

Maggie - Thanks for your concern! There never seems to be a time when we don't have a problem of some sort, but we don't usually have quite so many all at once. It's very unsettling!

Jay said...

I regret to say that yes, I probably would have shown the security man my knickers, but whether I allowed a kiss would depend entirely on how attractive he was. I am shameless, you see. ;)

Ladybird World Mother said...

Oh my word... kisses on the cheek. Hope it was the one on your face. I must say... when I am shopping I just want to do that... your shop sounds hilarious!! Love your post.

Gill - That British Woman said...

thanks for popping by my blog!!

Gill in Canada