Do I have your attention, by any chance?
I was a careful and cautious blogger when I first set up my site. I was inspired, by Wife in the North, as many of us were, when I read an article about her, in a magazine. I loved essay writing, as a youngster (This explains why most of my posts are so long, then!) and decided that writing again, on a blog, might be rewarding and fun.
I searched through loads of sites, looking for some blogging friends. I found plenty of abandoned sites, a few others which had been filled up with spam, a lot which didn't seem to want visitors, and some, with so many buttons and bells, that I could hardly find the content. Whilst searching for some 'down to earth' bloggers, that I could have a laugh with, it is true to say that I came across quite a few bloggers with their heads firmly stuck up their own arses. I avoided them. It was bad enough, sometimes, being forced to deal with them in the course of my ordinary life, without seeking them out on the Internet!
Eventually, I found a few people through Wife in the North's blogroll and comments. I remained cautious, however. I wanted to try and avoid problems, if possible. I made sure that my comments were monitored, and that no-one had the opportunity to fill up my site with spam. I didn't venture very far, from my little corner.
After an enforced break, of a few months, due to illness and Christmas preparations, I resumed posting and became a little bit braver. I linked to a few more people and commented on a few more sites. You could say that I 'put myself about a little bit more'! The traffic, on my site, increased a little and I began to take some interest in Site Meter, which I had installed, not long after starting my blog. I soon discovered that the searches were the most interesting section of the stats! I was amazed to discover what people searched for on the Internet. I was also amazed, sometimes, that Google, or whatever search engine, threw up my site as being relevant! I could see, however, that the reason why my site appeared on so many questionable searches, was due to the 'middle-aged mom' portion of the title. Who would have thought it? Not me, that's for sure!
I wish, now, that I had kept a record of all of the funny searches, which appeared on my Site Meter, but, unfortunately, I didn't, so I can only share a few of the most recent ones with you. I suppose I should say, at this point, that anyone who has visited my site, due to a questionable search, should not panic. I can't trace you and wouldn't wish to, to be honest! The following searches have been listed on my Site Meter, over the past few weeks:
- moms open wide
- hot over-aged moms
- middle aged hot mommies
- middle age women photos rough (My site was on page 2, of that one. I can't be that rough, then.)
The most common search I've found, routinely, has been for 'aged mom', which may not be particularly remarkable, in itself, but I've found it in various languages, which has baffled me, to a certain extent. I've found this particular search on Google in French, Spanish, Japanese, some sort of Arabic language and 2 languages, which I couldn't even recognise. Whenever I see the page for 'aged mom' appear, I try very hard not to look at the description of the first site on the page, even though my eyes are oddly drawn towards it! It's a bit of a shocker and I keep my cursor well away from it, just in case! If you are of a sensitive nature, I don't think you should look, at all, to be honest! If you are curious, search Google for 'aged mom'. It should be a web search, as opposed to a UK search. No clicking on that first site and don't forget to come back! Bad bloggers!
Some other searches have appeared on Site Meter, where I couldn't see my site mentioned, so I can only assume that it was mentioned several pages further on. These have included:
- aged big moms
- I have a crush on a patient's mother
- mommy beach pee blog
- middle aged hot and wet
- naked, middle-aged females
All I can say, is that I must have had more disappointed visitors than I could ever have anticipated!
I once found my entire blog, translated into French, using Google Translate, I assumed. I only studied French for about 18 months, so I've no idea how close a translation it was. The title was Moody Moyenne D'Age Moyen Maman. Maybe my posts made more sense in French!
I also found a search from blogged.com and bloguzz.com, which turned out to be a Spanish site, with a section of English blogs. Each blog had a rated page and a graph, but it meant nothing to me, because I couldn't understand it! I was slightly disturbed, however, to find that the post featured on my index page was the one entitled My Best Side, which showed a photo' of me, bending over in the garden. Oh, dear! The careful and cautious blogger, who was under the impression that she was, somewhat quietly, blogging away in her little corner, suddenly became aware that pictures of her bottom could well be appearing all over the world. Hmmm .......
It's all my own fault, of course, and I don't really mind sharing my best backside photo' with the rest of the world. After all, it's a comical one, not a pornographic one, and I don't think that anyone would ever recognise me, from that angle! They wouldn't would they?
Anyway, how about you? Do you have Site Meter, or anything similar? Have you found any searches, which made you laugh, or gasp with horror? I would love to know!