Sunday, 23 November 2008

A Cheery Post

I would like to dedicate this post to swearing mother who has devoted so much of her time to cheering up her fellow bloggers, I thought that, for once, I would like to return the favour.

I'm feeling a bit down, at the moment and I can't help but notice that some of you are feeling the same way. It's probably something to do with dark nights and Christmas preparations, that some of us simply don't have the stomach for, at the moment. So the question is 'How to cheer up?'

We all know about the basic things that we're supposed to do, like follow a healthy diet, exercise regularly and that sort of thing, but here's a few others you might not have thought of:

1. Think of a few things to be thankful for, such as the fact that:

  • You didn't wake up a few days ago to discover that you were the new President Elect. How scary would that have been on a scale of 1-10?
  • your daughter hasn't published a book about her childhood, called 'Ugly', accusing you of child abuse
  • you're not one of the judges who've been so cruelly critical of John Sergeant, on Strictly. Boo! Hiss!
2. Watch some out-takes on tv. How can watching others falling over, or messing up not be amusing? Laughing at the misfortunes of others must surely be the favourite British pastime!

3. Go into Clinton Cards and peruse the On-The-Ceiling cards. Here's a couple of my favourites:

4. Ask a friend to tell you a few old jokes. Oh, that would be me, then. You all know that I have a silly sense of humour, so I'm not apologising for finding these short jokes amusing, no matter how often I hear them. They are attributed to Tommy Cooper, I think.

A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

Sometimes I drink my whisky neat. Other times, I take my tie off and leave my shirt out.

So I said to the taxi driver, 'King Arthur's Close.'
He said, 'Don't worry, we'll lose him at the next lights.'

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money at him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?'
He said, 'Yes, this is my livelihood.'

A man takes his rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' So he picks up the dog, examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.'
'What? Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy.'

So, I'm getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?'
I said, 'Sure. You look great. The world's your oyster. Go for it.'

Here's a joke that's been related to me more than once. I never let on that I've heard it before, because it always makes me smile.

Sharon is visiting Tracey, for a chat, when there is a knock at the front door and a bouquet of flowers is delivered from Tracey's husband. 'Oh, crap!' says Tracey. 'That's me flat on my back, with my legs apart for the next few days, then!'
'Why?' asks Sharon, looking startled. 'Haven't you got a vase?'

Lastly, if you've ever kept a cat or dog, or both, you might like to check out the first 2 links below. If you can't be bothered with those, you might like to check out the third:

1. Rules for cats

2. why dogs are better pets than cats

3.real answers given on various chat and quiz shows

There's some other funny stuff there, ( too, if you have a few minutes to spare.

There it is, then. I know it's all corny stuff, but I hope that it's helped to cheer everyone up a bit. Well, you didn't expect anything sophisticated from me, did you?


Frankofile said...

Oh thanks for the laugh. Yes, November's a moody old month.

I was startled to see you started your blog almost to the day when I did. (But we sold the house and left the country to encourage youngsters to leave the fold hehe). Looking forward to updating myself on your blogging.

softinthehead said...

Thanks for that Mean Mom, you had me chuckling out loud, I love silly Tommy Cooper type humour. I particularly liked the card with the boy and the bricks. I was sharing with my 16 yr old and the two of us are still chuckling to ourselves, You brightened MY Sunday. hope yours gets better. :)

Mean Mom said...

Frankofile - It's a pleasure! That's a coincidence. I hope that you've been a better blogger than I have. I've been a bit sporadic! I shall be over to see, anyway!

Now, I have a friend who escaped from her children and went to Holland. I'm beginning to think that it was a wise move!

softinthehead - What a relief that this post has been well received, so far. I've made a 16 year old laugh! Oooh, I'm so impressed with myself!

I'm so glad that I've brightened your day! It's a difficult time of year for some of us.

aims said...

It's always fun to visit here whenever you get around to posting. Plus - you've been a lovely friend to me MM. Look here - you've put a smile on my very sad face. Thank you again.

aims said...

Oh boy - seems everyone's at it MM.

Over at 365 to 42 he's got some interesting quotes. Go have a look.

I'm giving him your link for the funnies.

Jennysmith said...

The old ones are the best. Just what i needed to cheer me up on a wet, dark and hopeless sunday.

Hope you feel better in yourself soon. xxxxx

Suburbia said...

Thanks!! The jokes made me laugh, even Husband had a chuckle!! And those cards always make me laugh out loud, which is embarasing when you're in a quiet shop!

If you're a bit fed up you could always come over to mine and listen to me moaning on - kill or cure;)

Maggie May said...

Feeling a lot better, Mean Mom. Think you are right....... it is the weather & the time of year. We need a virtual party, I think!

Mean Mom said...

aims - I'm on a roll, then! So glad I've managed to put a bit of a smile on your face. I know how difficult things are for you, on a daily basis. I'm honoured that you think of me as a friend. I didn't have your sort of childhood, but I can understand a little about your everyday fears. I think of you as a friend of mine, too. I will check out 365 to 42.

Jennysmith - The old ones certainly are the best! Now is that people or jokes?

The weather has been gross, here, too.

Suburbia - It must have been a better post than I thought, if husband had to be dragged over to take a look!

Fortunately, you always manage to make your moaning amusing and I do spend a lot of time hanging around your place. If I'm not reading your posts, I'm generally checking out the list in your sidebar to see who has posted and when. I really should get my own list!

Maggie - Laughter is the best medicine. Strangely enough I've been trying to come up with a party idea, but my mind's blank! Still, I'm used to that.

Rose said...

Thanks for the laughs, Mean Mom. I agree November is one of my least favorite months...but then February is usually the worst. I may have to book mark this post and come back to it often.
Being a pet owner, I did check out the rules for cats and the dogs vs. cats sites--very true!

It definitely would be worse to wake up and find yourself as either Barack or Michelle Obama--you couldn't even be in a bad mood without the press announcing it all over the world:) Hope you are feeling better.

Mean Mom said...

Rose - It's a pleasure! Winter seems to becomes more dismal as I get older, unfortunately. January is awful, too. It seems such a long month. I dread it.

Why would anyone want to be a President or Prime Minister? I would never sleep again.

Unfortunately, I feel worse, as student son has just told me that he no longer wishes to be a student any more. Pass me that bucket. I need to cry in it.

auntiegwen said...

Thank you for That. I had a week of sending "Reasons to be cheerful" emails to someone who was down and afterwards they told me how much they'd meant.

Laughter is a powerful medicine

Mean Mom said...

auntiegwen - Hope it made you smile. It was good of you to help out your friend. We all need that sometimes.

Frances said...

hah! first belly laugh of the day. I particularly liked the heavy dog and Tracey. Thanks for the cheer up - and the sun has come out this moment. Yay! magic!
your word recognition at the moment is Flopsy.... first time I've seen a real word. things are looking up today. ;-)

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

Mean Mom, you must not be so mean after all, putting all these smiles on people's faces. I suppose there is some kindness lurking beneath that tough exterior. Now, how do you account for that?

Dusty Spider said...

Well, you cheered me up no end. Love the vase joke, had to LOL! Been on any mystery tours lately? Flick x

Anonymous said...

Hi Mean Mom
I was put into your blog by frankofile because I've been feeling down lately. I'm an ex pat in France and I'm currently sitting in a large black hole hoping to get out soon. Thanks for making me laugh out loud for the first time in ages. My Frenchie is asking me what's wrong as I burst into fits every few minutes... merci!! I'll be keeping you in my emergency box to use in times of emotional need.

Mean Mom said...

Frances - I'm so glad that I'm cheering everyone up with this post. I lost confidence with it, at one point and almost didn't publish it. I also like the heavy dog and vase joke, plus the little lad with the bricks.

I've even brought the sun out apparently. Is there no end to my talents? (Well, I'm sure it's in sight!)

The Boisterous Butterfly - It's always interesting to know how your family perceives you, isn't it? Yes, 'mean', apparently, which is where my pseudonym came from. They weren't always allowed to have their own way. That was very mean, I'm sure!

Dusty Spider - What a pleasure to have you visiting, again! Glad I made you LOL. I miss your comments. I haven't been on any mystery tours. Could it be that perhaps you have?

Emmy - You are very welcome on my blog. It's so nice to have a new blogger and I've cheered you up as well. I'm very glad about that. Unfortunately, I can't always promise a funny post, but you could always look back through my old posts, if you visit again. I will be over to visit you, of course.

Liz said...

that vase made me laugh out loud. Before that it was King Arthur and give me a lift ones . Thank you very much. I wasn't miserable before and I'm not now.

Mean Mom said...

Liz - I've been really pleased with the response to this post. I wish I could post something funny every time, but it's not possible unfortunately. It's too much like hard work!

Gorgeous. said...

Oh HOW FUNNY!! :D I love all the jokes and the answers from the quizzes were hysterical! :D

Thanks for the laugh! :D

Mean Mom said...

Gorgeous - Welcome! It's a pleasure!

Robin said...

I love your blog, Mean Mom. I can take away some jokes and learn a new language. It is funny how some jokes transfer perfectly and others leave me scratching my head. (but cat humor is the same on both sides)

Mean Mom said...

Robin - Sorry my blog is a bit of a puzzle, sometimes. Yes, it's very English. Glad you got some of it, anyway! Cats rule!

Mignon said...

MMM- Your awsome. I have a smile on my face. Dispite my very full uncomfortable tummy. Our Thankgiving holiday here in U.S.

Mean Mom said...

Mignon - Happy Thanksgiving! Glad you're smiling!

Swearing Mother said...

Thank you SO much Mean Mom, with friends like you how could I stay sad!

Mean Mom said...

Swearing Mother - It's a pleasure! I do hope that it's helped!